student quote

Directed to a student of mine, M.A. (Period 3):

"My first mistake was listening to you instead of Van Liew."
~C.K. (Period 3)

student quote

Background: there is the picture of a cartoon bee in the bottom of the new urinals here at DV. Some of the guys have said to "aim for the bee while you pee." This was a female student's response:

"I wish I was a guy. That sounds like fun."
~A.M. (Period 3)

student quote

Background: I was telling my students they can't add "x" and "x squared" together because they're not like terms. I used the example that I can't add up my scrambled eggs and all my chickens to say that I then have more chickens then I did before (even though the eggs that I scramble do come from chickens originally). After the students on their own discussed chickens, eggs, and the like, a student seriously asked:

"Are chickens reptiles?"
~M.E. (Period 4)

student quote

"Do you talk to a tornado before it eats you?"
~P.M. (Period 3)

student quote

"I wasn't slapping him. I was high-fiving his face!"
~ B.C. (Period 3)

student quote

Okay, this one's purely an inside joke. I don't expect anyone to get it.

"Arrrrrrse...where's me booty?"
~L.H. (Period 2)

convo with aidan

This one is from January 2nd (yes, I know...I've been remiss). I was talking to Aidan.

I said: "I love you, buddy."
Aidan said: "Cars."

What love!

quote

"There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live."
~Kevin O'Brien (mutual friend of Matthew du Mée from his college days)

student quote

Background: a TA wrote me a note and was trying to remind me to be loving toward my students even when I am getting frustrated (btw, I never get frustrated...ever).

"Love pactient, love is kind, we are called to love" (emphasis mine). Yes, pactient is a great word.
~P.M. (TA Period 3)

quote

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."
~Abraham Lincoln

quote

"The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby."
~Natalie Wood

quote

"The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time."
~Willem de Kooning

fortunes

My 4th hour TA brought me some fortune cookies from Panda Express today. They tasted good, I have to say. The fortunes inside were quite good. Just read them below; I think you should.

"You will step onthe soil of many countries" in the bathroom. Too true,
too true.

"Now is the time to set your sights high and 'go for it'"
in the bathroom. Just not too high, you might miss, if you know what I
mean. ;-)

Yes, you may say, this man is crude. You may well be right, and that's not rude. But, please, don't be put off. It is simply to get you to laugh. (FYI: you have to use an "ah" sound in laugh to make it work.)

Thank you.

student quote

"Do they sell spaceships?"
~C.F.

student quote

"Does the sun come out on Halloween?"
~L.L. (Period 6)

student quote

Background: it was a review day.

"Why drink and drive when you can sip and swerve?"

~M.J. (Period 6)

student quote

A new year, a new bunch of student quotes...

Background: the student was trying to say "multiplication" in a southern accent.

"Mult-ih-PLACK-ih-shan." (phonetic spelling)
~M.J. (Period 6)

student quote

Background: it's finals day, and the students had to put the hour on their scantrons. I jokingly mentioned that the hour should be lunch because it is a combined 4/5 today (whichever one is a class hour for the students and not lunch is the one they attend). Then the student said, not catching the joke:

"Why would we take a final for lunch?"
~B.B. (Period 4)

student quote

Background: this student was asking me about the ages of my children.

"You have a thirteen and a half old and a new old?"
~C.C. (Period 2)

student quote

background: a student had said "Steve Irwin got shanked by a manta ray." This student then responded:

"I thought that was Tu Pac."
~A.M. (Period 3)